Guess what!
I just met Zach Braff.
Yeah. Seriously. OMFG. Right? YAH.
So, here's an account of my meeting the man behind the miracle:
Zach Braff has been making no secret of the fact that he's in London, constantly mentioning it in his facebook statuses and showing off to his less fortunate American cronies. I, being a Londoner, decided to make it my mission to meet him. Knowing he is Zach's best friend, the first thing I did was look at Joshua Radin's tour schedule, and, blow me down, he was doing a gig in London that week (yesterday night, April 8th, now it is 3am on April 9th 2010). I wasn't bothered to buy Radin tickets, I've never been his biggest fan and I've met him before anyway, so I decided to go and wait outside the stage door around the time the gig ended.
I pulled up, driven by my delightful mother, in a battered old Ford Mondeo, and went to join the crowd outside said door. The crowd was abnormally big, around 80-100 people, which is really not what one would expect. I asked someone why and they excitedly squealed "Zach Braff was in there tonight!! We're waiting for him... and Joshua too, I guess." Ah, so my presumption was correct, methought. After about twenty minutes of standing, a little man came out and told the crowd that Zach and Joshua were at an afterparty in the venue (London's Shepherd's Bush Empire). Pretty much everyone left before he had finished his sentence, confirming my suspicions that they weren't real fans at all, but people thinking they were going to see a famous person and maybe get a picture to sell to Heat magazine. About seven of us stayed, and, after further discouragement from the bouncers, two more left.
Then there were five. I waited in a car outside the venue while the other four people loitered near the stage door. I tried several different entrances, begging the bouncers to let me in, but they declined me politely and watched me, time after time, skulk back to the car. Time ticked on. And on. At 12:30 the other people left, so it was just me and my basket of Scrubs memorabilia. As 12:45 drew nearer, I noticed some friendly looking people leaving the building. "Is Zach still in there? " I asked. They said yes and I went back to the car. Then I noticed them beckoning me over to them. "Do they want to sell me drugs?" I thought, ever the pessimist. But no, they were giving me their passes into the party! Seriously!!!!!
What amazing people they were. I took one of the purple wristbands and headed to the venue door. Unfortunately, the bouncers recognised me from my earlier attempts to get in.
"Where'd you get that?" One asked, gesturing towards my wristband.
"Oh, this?" I mumbled, "I had this all along."
The man looked at me, clearly amused by my blatant lie.
"Fine. Go in, get your autograph, and come back out. Don't cause any trouble."
I could have accosted the bald Buddha right there and then. Instead I headed up the stairs to the party that held my man.
The music was ridiculously loud and awful and the place was packed. I scanned the room. And there he was. Zach Braff. The love of my life. The man that has ruled my life, been the obsession embedded in my soul, the only thing I've thought about for years. I approached him apprehensively, though grinning maniacally. He gestured, smiling towards my t-shirt which bore the Sacred Heart logo. Then, unannounced, he bent over and hugged me. For ages. Not a word said. It was amazing. Seriously amazing.
"I love you so much!" I said.
"What?" he replied, unable to hear me above the music. He stooped and put his ear to my cheekycheek.
"I love you and Scrubs, I'm on of the world's biggest fans!"
He nodded approvingly.
"Can I have a picture?" I asked. He nodded again and stood in front of me with his weird little flat cap that filled me with joy, as I have one very similar. Unfortunately my mother's blasted iphone blocked him out and made him just a silhouette.
As I was about to ask for a picture at another angle, he was grabbed by Joshua Radin for a picture with two other guys. As he did this, Joshua smiled at me. I just gave him a look that said "Get outta ma face you dumb frick and give me my Zach back, bliddy muthaplucka." And, obligingly, he gave me my Zach back! I asked for another picture, this time with my phone and he nodded once again. It was very apparent that the man was ridiculously drunk and perhaps on something. Did I give a crap? Hell no! He's my Zachattack, I got my hug! I took a few more slightly better pictures of him as he cosied up to another man, had a drunkendrugged woman wrap her arms around him as he threw his head back in hazy stupor, and another of his oh-so-striking profile.
He showed my t-shirt, clearly pleased, to another woman who smiled approvingly. Then, taking this as my cue to show off my one of a kind memorabilia, I took out my Scrubs scrubs (actual doctors' clothing with the Sacred Heart logo). He looked at it and remarked "Wow", then asked if I had a pen to sign it with. I had three permanent markers and gave him one, and he very slowly, desperately trying to keep his hand straight, signed his name. I'm kindo pissed off because I'll never be able to wear it again, and I used to wear it a lot, but I think it's worth it. I didn't get to show him my JD-style red onesie (yes, really, I have one), as I thought it would be a bit much, so instead I asked him for a picture together. He grabbed me with his ridiculously manly amazing arm and I took a picture of us. Then we said our good-byes, and parted deliriously happily. Here are the pictures I got (some have been edited as they are too dark to see properly. These were uploaded by sending them to my mum's phone, and I'll reupload them when I can directly from my phone, as the quality may be better. If it is, I'll put them on here again.):
Silhouette. :/
Drunken and with random man.
Striking profile?
In the arms of another woman. :'(
Me and him again! (as seen above)
